Walk, swim cycle

yesterday I walked 7km in the morning, went for a swim in the afternoon and did 10 minutes on the exercise bike. Knee pain was there on the walk, and niggled for most of the day, not too badly but it annoyed me badly by just being there at all. In the swim my googles sprung a leak, and very chlorinated water in the indoor swimming pool really stung my eyes. It hurt and made my eyes water for over two hours afterwards

I look at the VMO and it is becoming and solid body of muscle rather a bunch of idependent fibres. More and more I can isolate those muscles. The knee still tilts laterally and that is extremely frustrating.

Last night I spent a lot of time thinking about how much I hate Coffs harbour, and what a purgatory it is living and working with some of the people in this town. I thought about how depserate I am to get away from this town and its people. I want to leave this place and be able to say “up yours Coffs, you didn’t take all my physical and mental health away.” Coffs is an overatted, self important, conservative, and intolerant place. I have lived in many places, but Coffs takes the cake as the asshole of the earth.

 

Overdid it?

13.2km walking today. Twice up Muttonbird Island Hill. I really do feel like I am walking more smoothly. My VMO is really more active. The second walk this avo was better than the mornings. However, walking around the shops the knee threatened to fire up. This bloody knee is my whole existence at the moment, everything that I enjoy, that helps keep me sane is on hold, until it gets better.

I really dislike Coffs Harbour. A new road opened today, one that wiped out some nice Blackbut and Turpentine Trees on the Coffs Creek walk. The Coffs ex services club has expanded it’s car park and bulldozed the nice quiet park where I used to sit at lunch time. It’s a souless place, full of its own self importance, but lacking substance. Maybe, I’m stuck here in purgatory, because that is what Coffs Harbour feels like to me. When I land at Coffs Harbour airport, it does not feel like I am coming home.

Inspiring

The Coffs Harbour ocean swims. I was inspired by some of those who finished the event. One man swam the race with only one leg. How gutsy is that? He made the beach, but was unable to stand up. Someone came up to him with a crutch after about a minute sitting on the sand. Another lady finished the 250m swim with a helper. They hugged each other after finishing. What an achievment. I became all emotional and inspired just watching  on

Womens 600 metres start.

Mens 600 metres

One legged swimmer.

Taking it easy

….and my knee is better for it. My VMO is really firing at the moment. The knee cap is slightly tilted. So I think I still have a long battle ahead. But I am progressing. I really think I can beat this.

 Last night I sat on the couch and watched the Australia v Qatar world cup qualifier. Australia won 3-0. The Australians scored two goals from headers. The Qatar team was hopeless in the first half. They improved a little in the second half, and the Australian ran out of puff and didn’t score any goals. So not very entertaining.

A big storm came throughs Coffs yesterday afternoon. Very intense, with extremely heavy rainfall, thunder and lightning, but short duration. This seems to be the trend lately, short but very intense storms. Is it global warming?

Souless

Two days back in Coffs. It is a scenically pretty place but it lacks a soul. I was hoping to go for a walk this morning, but it is raining torrentially outside. Coffs Harbour a miserable place.  

Couldn’t go for a walk, so I did 8.2km on the exercise bike. It’s getting easier and easier. I did 17km/hr for about 12 minutes. Wouldn’t mind a swim, but will the weather let me?

Managed a 53 minute walk this avo. Was raining when I headed off. It rained less as I went along. My leg felt pretty good. The pain seemed to be in the back of my calf. Maybe I am really improving this time, after two long years. I have a new heart rate monitor. It ranged from about 93-120 beats per minute. Didn’t get an average. A fairly steady comfortable pace. 

Pools of sorrow, waves of joy

Great song that one. Across the Universe by the Beatles. I’m trying to play it on guitar today.

Walked 55 minutes this morning without tape or straps. I wouldn’t say my knee felt great, quite tight in fact.  However, I did get the impression it was getting looser the further I went. There was a crack about 30 minutes in and I thought the knee felt better after that, rather than worse. When I stretched the ITB and hammies it really loosened things up. Each ounce of strength I can eke out of this VMO is increasing the function of my legs.

Saw a car that had been broken into on my morning walk. Both windows were broken and papers and bottles were thrown all over the road. I phoned the police and they said they already had reports of about six cars being broken into  in the area.

Went for swim and had a try at breathing every third stroke, and keeping my arms close to my ears on each stroke. Breathing every stroke really throws what little streamlining I have out the window. I’m just not fit enough to breath every third stroke.  I did some recovery rolls, and tried to kick and breathe on one side.

At home had a feeling that my knee felt really, really good. Losseness under the v lat tendon. I like the feel of that, I said. Still there is lateral tightness, but it hasn’t turned horrible yet, like last night. So this is a day and a half without tape at all.  

I did some weeding of the back courtyard. This sorted my back and knee out a lot. It was all getting very tight. So I did some stretches and got the rolling pin onto my ITB.

Went shopping without tape. Knee wasn’t too bad. Then I’d left my cards back in the car. So I had to walk back to get them. The knee was starting to tighten up a bit on the way back to the car.

Got back home and felt like putting my knees up on the couch. Then I phoned dad and spoke to him for a while. The money I sent him still hasn’t turned up.

Finally, I hopped onto the exercise bike for another 15 munites. I wish I could put this knee tightness behind me. Each day there is more muslce in the VMO, but the patella is still mobile and therefore tends to maltrack. I desperately want to rest, to spend  a simple day working and walking aorund the shops without  knee pain or tightness.

How strong do I have to get before my legs are functional? How could this knee have got so bad when I saw a physio straight away in Novemebr 2005 for a niggle in my other knee? I’m angry that I’ve been put through torture for nearly 2 years.

Storm

A storm hit Coffs today. It smashed in a window on the 3rd floor destroying a computer and a desk. Fortunately, the occupant of the desk was attending a farewell lunch at the time. The ran was almost horizontal, the wind so strong it bent over the MBT sign on the roof, threatening to topple it 7 stories to the ground.

I went to my bosses farewell. I got through it OK. How do I describe the way I feel at big social occassions? It’s like the world is ready to be pulled away from under my feet, and underneath it is the this big dark hole of fear and uncertainty.

Funny, I didn’t think about my knee in all that time. I guess my fear takes the focus off the pain.

Farewells

Tomorrow there is a BBQ and farewell for my boss. I have to be honest and say that I don’t want to go. I’d prefer something low key, just me and other people within my unit. As a sufferer of panic attacks, I find that big social gatherings scare the hell out of me and can trigger one of these unpleasant episodes.  There are going to be people there that I do not like and don’t want to spend any time with. There is also another two day camping event to farewell the same people. It may seem rude, and the people might hold a grudge for me not going, but I simply can’t do it.  

In other news one of my stories has been added to the recommended reading list for 2006 Best Australian Fantasy and Science Fiction, which I’m chuffed about.

http://www.tabula-rasa.info/MirrorDanse/YearsBest2006recommended.html

I’m thinking of starting up a  new blog for my writing endeavours.  

In other positive news I’ve booked a holiday in Perth over XMAS.

Another day same niggle

Whatever I try, the knee and my back niggles away.

I was sitting in a meeting at the office thinking is this my life? I’m not happy with my life, I don’t feel a part of it. A life spent in Coffs Harbour, a place I don’t like.  

How did I finish up like I am? How did I change from the positive person that loved bushwalking, birdwatching and wildflowers. I am convinced moving to nothern New South Wales was a bad life choice.

Is it too late to move back to Sydney?

Friday I’m in love

Tonights 50 minute walk is the best bar none. No pain  no catching. Wonderful. Work wasn’t so good, I feel down about where I work and some of the people I work with. Example I was working my thigh at my desk, an admin lady who was printing personal stuff from the printer, made all sorts of noises about me not working. I stretch and strengthen my thigh regularly while sitting at my desk. None of her effing business, thank you very much. My knee is in pain and I’ll do what I need to do to make sitting at my desk more comfortable.

 I might add that I think gossips are the lowest form of life. Have you read this post gossips? Then know that you have contributed to my ill health. If you think I am doing nothing, if you think my life is easy, I dare you to come and walk around in my shoes for a while. You should have a good, hard, close look at yourself in the mirror before you judge me.

 I’m dreaming more and more about changing of getting out of this horrible town of Coffs Harbour. It’s not so much the scenery, which is quite lovely, it is the intolerant people who live here.  Got to stop dreaming and start doing something about it.