I WIN KNEE PAIN

Sometimes the things you have to work hardest for give the greatest sense of achievment.

I’ve done it. I’ve won the battle of the maltracking patella.

Tonight I walked 5. 3km without my knee taped. Only I know how hard I’ve worked to achieve this. I’ve done the Muttonbitd Island walk countless times in various stages of pain over three and a half years.

Down past the Jetty restuarants hoping that my knee might be alright. Waiting for good trains that shake the earth under my feet at the railway crossing, when the boom gates close and the red light flashes. It hurts when I stop walking.

Out along the breakwall near the Marina, the tightness and pain starting. A big swell sweeping the wall and sometimes overtopping it. The 8:30am Virgin Blue flight coming into land; the spring carpet of Senecios turning Muttonbird Island yellow;  the winter tide washing the rocks at the base of dog beach, or the tide miles out to sea.  Many seasons have come and gone during this battle. Turn around at the base of Muttonbird Island, try to stretch hammies and ITB to loosen up.

I recall saying to my knee, I just want to walk without pain is that too much to ask? The vice like tightness, the burning nerve pain, everywhere, the eye watering pain behind the knee cap. With me everyday of my life.

Out across the dog beach the burning nerve pain used to really set in. Back along Orlando Street pushing through the pain. A pain that I knew would make my life a misery walking down the mall during the week. The stress making me feel dizzy and heavy.  My thoughts spiralling down into darkness, frustration, anger and despair.

Drivers on Orlando honking their horns, or screaming abuse at me. Leave me alone with my pain will you hoons! The drunks rolling home from the Pier Hotel. The pink light of 19 Orlando Street shining. Thinking do people really go in there?

The little girl riding her bike who looked at me and asked “Why so angry?” 

The wonder when I discovered McConnell taping and got immediate pain relief. No knee pain? The screaming had stopped for a moment.

The brief moments of pain relief when I thought I was getting somewhere, the knee cap falling back into its groove; then the horrible setback when a new physiotherapist suggested taping my knee more lightly. The knee cap went further off track that time, I could feel the cartiledge peeling off the side of my knee.

Up the hill on Harbour Drive knowing that I would pay for this walk later on. The pain screaming again like a voice that would never be quiet.

Those days in March 2007 when my foot felt like it was on fire and I’d get an eye watering burning pain in my knee while sitting at my desk at work and not even the tape would work. My life dimished in so many ways. Thinking that I needed surgery.

Obsessed with stretching my hammies, ITB and VMO activations.

People at work no longer wanting to hear, calling me lazy. That was the most frightening thing of all, not even my family wanted to know. A battle I had to fight on my own.

Only my counsellor, Peter, listened. Thanks for that. And of course Brad the physiotherapist who turned the injury around. Am I lucky I saw him? You bet! He said I took the prize for the weakest vastus medialis obliquus (inner quad muscle) he had ever seen. He said that it might take 12 months to rehab my knee and then I might run up to 5km. That was November 2006.

Well it took two and a half years, but I have run up to 20kms. How is that for exceeding expectations?

A knee cap that sounded like a tree branch was breaking. I couldn’t walk to the car without a strangling tightness grippng my inner quad.  I’d dip my leg into the Sawtell Pool to get repsite on the weekends. I actually learnt to swim, depsite hating the pool. Walking around Woolies was a challenge.

Never giving up, doing the strenghtneing and stretching and massage. Trying to eke out every ounce of strenghth in my wasted VMO. Like chipping away at a mountain. Imagining every sign of improvement, resigned to every set back.

Going to sleep with a pillow under or between my knees. Falling to sleep after another set of quad squeezes. Squeezing the pillow even in the dark, obsessed with fighting the battle. Swearing that if I never beat the knee pain I would keep fighting it until my dieing day!

The lunch time walks around Maclean Street oval. Three laps, stretches before and after. Swearing at the knee pain so much one of the neighbours complained as I went past.

The around the block walk after work. The long walk through the car park at Park Beach Plaza.  The fire in the knee always reaing its ugly head.

I kept fighting and figthing and there were moments when my knee started to feel better.

September 2007. One day my knee cap moved over a notch and felt alright. I saw the Eels play the Bulldogs at ANZ. I even ran for the train.

In Perth in Christmas 2007, doing a pain free walk in Meelup Regional Park, playing a round of golf.

Like the field trip to Royal National Park in May 2008. Full days out in the field doing what I love, botany, and no pain.

I ran first on the 18th June 2008. I started to run near the Coffs Sailing Boat club, angry with everything. I ran screaming out loud along the cycle path.

“Come on knee pain. What have you got?” I challenged it.

I swore about how much I hated Coffs Harbour.

I ran all the back to my unit and collapsed on my welcome mat, and curled into a ball and cried for I’m not sure how long, before going inside.  

Remarkeably I found the knee hurt just about as much running as it did walking.

Over the next few weeks I taped my knee and braved some more runs around the Muttonbird Island Circuit. I ran like a zephyr and a slight breeze.

The knee would hurt medially for about a kilometre but then it would warm up.

I went in my first cross country run in two decades in July. I did 24:45 and finished about 20th out of 28 runners. Sometimes the nerve pain stop me running during the week.

Often I’d throw the knee tape off because the pain would be too much. I ran in serveral more races with varying levels of pain until a run at Emerald Beach in early August.

I ran pain free that day and experienced the most unbelievable runners high.

I’ve run 800km with my knee taped.

But tonight I walked 5.3km without pain, without knee tape

I WIN KNEE PAIN

Clear skies ahead

I’m tired of walking in the rain- with clear skies ahead

Out of the darkness open-eyed with clear skies ahead.

Spy v Spy

I ran and finished the toughest possible 10km race last weekend. Wasn’t very happy with my time or my placing…..but the fact that I ran it all considering where I’ve come from the last few years is incredible.

There is a sense of unreality about all this. Like I have woken up into a dream that I never dreamed would come my away again.

Until June last year I never dreamed I would run again.

My battle with knee pain has been a long, long nightmare. However, without this nightmare, this running miracle might not have happened. Without the nightmare I might not have been forced to find answers for  my knee problems. Without the nightmare I wouldn’t have been forced to work so hard, to go to Sydney to see a doctor and physio who saved my knee.

Right now I am glad that the nightmare of knee pain happened. Yes that’s right, even when I could hardly walk, even when my foot felt like it was on fire, all the horrible set backs, the endless days of pain, every one of the countless hours of physio I have done. Glad it all happened! I am running! All the pain, all the frustration, all the hard work, was worth every minute to be able to run again.

Back from Perth

I have been back from my holiday for two days now. Now I am gearing up for the Sawtell Fun Run on New Year’s morning. Getting rather nervous at the prospect of red lining it in a 5.5km run. It will hurt,  and I haven’t done a fast race since last years.

I have run 23:31 and 23:48 in moderate intensity training runs. So I am quite fit, and should go much better then the 24:41 I did three years ago in the Sawtell Fun Run on very little training and with a knee cap that was just starting to sublux and really go off track.

My holiday in Perth was a happy sad one. I ran one day and went for a bushwalk the next, having fun with my new digital SLR camera taking macro photos of wildflowers.

Guinea Flower with tiny spider.

On the running side of things I did

4 x10km

5:25, 5:03, 5:16, 5:06, 5:27, 4:43, 4:53, 5:27, 5:23, 6:04 (53:24)

5:21, 5:13, 5:20, 5:10, 5:20, 4:41, 5:03, 5:24, 5:18, 5:16 (51:59)

5:15, 5:05, 5:02, 5:05, 5:34, 4:40, 4:56, 5:25, 5:27, 5:12 (51:42). The garmin made me run 70 metres further for 5km on this run.

5:03, 4:41, 4:52, 4:50, 5:09, 4:30, 4:44, 5:05, 5:20, 5:08 (49:24)       

2 X 8km

5:27, 5:03, 5:26, 5:18, 5:20, 5:32, 5:26, 5:32 (42:55)

4:57, 4:42, 4:52, 4:47, 4:34, 4:57, 5:13, 5:03 (39:02) 

The course I did in Kings Park was on concrete footpaths and along the grass of the ‘boardwalk’. There where three hills on the course that helped my fitness along nicely.  The first was a gradual incline between kilometres three to five, along the path that runs alongside Thomas Street. The next started from the bottom of the Poole Avenue and climbed up to May Drive.  And the last was the long gradual haul up the Boardwalk, across Lovekin Drive and up to the nature trail near the DNA tower. I was getting stronger on the uphills as the holiday went along, which is reflected in my times per kilometre.  One day there was a bicycle race on and I had to watch out crossing Lovekin Drive for the cyclists crossing my path.

http://www.bgpa.wa.gov.au/c/bgpa/pub/stories/community/memorial-map-large.gif

I had a good system going, walk about five minutes from the car park; stretch, then slowly roll into the run. Easy running until I felt I had warmed up. In all the runs I kept saying “roll it out” in synch with my breathing. I was not flat out on any run, but certainly was working it.

The fact that I ran as much as I did on this holiday is remarkeable given that at the same time last year I was in pain just walking around Kings Park. On Christmas Day I thought “Being able to run is the best christmas present ever.”

Pom Poms

On the sad side of my holiday was the fact that my father wasn’t well. One day he lacked the energy to put his shoes on to get out to the shops. He had a fall out of his bed one night and landed on his back, which was already badly bruised by a fall on a bus. They had to winch him back onto his bed. As I watched him on the bed sleeping I could see he was in pain lying on his back. Dad has a very bad cough, his lungs are not the best, he lost a lot of weight, he is in fact lighter than me at 76kgs. This is the first time in my life that Dad has weighed less than me.  Still he wanted to get out last minute shopping to get chocolates for the staff at the hostel where he is staying. This really knocked him around.

On the hugely positive side of my holiday was that on several occassions I walked around the city reasonably comfortably without the knee tape, just a ITB strap. Last year I could not do this. My knee is light years better. Also my achilles tendon gave me little trouble, just a few twinges in the mornings before I warmed up.

Several times my mind turned to negative thoughts about work  The most positive response to these negative thoughts was that I will work even harder.  I should also turn my thoughts to the possibility this year might bring in the area of my resurgent running career.  This is the inspirational postive side of my life. 

The fact is I AM working hard and have achieved extraordinary things with my return to running.  I have also taught myself to swim depsite a deep seated fear of water. I am inspired by this. I have beaten panic attacks; managed haemochromatosis; sought answers to the damage done to my health by clueless GPs and physiotherapists;  avoided knee surgery by patience, hard work and courage.

 I have thought I was dieing, I have though there was no future for me, I have been too scared to walk into a shopping centre in case I have another panic attack, been too fatigued and dizzy to walk around my unit, felt that my chest would explode, felt that I might collapse at any time. 

Despite all this I am alive and doing amazing things. This is only due to hard work and amazing COURAGE. I will give myself credit for that if no one else will.

  Also on the positive side was catching up with family over there. I met with their cute little dog, full of beans and personality.

First small steps for Quinkin

The physio had me run on a mini trampoline and a exercise mat for 2 minutes. My achilles was fine. I could walk on my heels and toes without pain. I could jump up an down on both legs. When I tried to jump up and down on my bad achilles it became sore.

I get to run 4 minutes on Wednesday. Still it seems to be improving. Six weeks for this achilles injury is nothing compared to 3 years for my knee.

I just did forty minutes on the cycle. I averaged 19/20km/hr for the final 5 minutes or so.

Going down like a souffle

The last few days my vastus lateralis and ITB have become soft. It’s like the tightness has been burst and it has begun to leak out like air from a balloon.

The balance is tipping in favor of my inner thigh, which is a remarkeable thing to witness after three years.

A maltracking patella injury is also a twisting of the quadricep injury. The outer thigh gets twisted inwards and dominates the inner thigh. As my VMO gets stronger the sensation is of the quads untwisting, the VLAT rolling outwards.

I suppose it is amazing that with the horrendous imbalance between my quads that my knee has functioned at all.

There was no reason at all for me to spend nearly two years rebuilding my knee, of living with a crippling knee injury. if I’d been using McConnell taping and exercises early in the injury I would not have gone through so much torture. Any taping would have done.

The pain I feel at the moment is medial. On Saturday’s run my knee was sore on top of the femur where the soft tissues are located on the inside of the patella tendon. Perhaps this is the medial retinaculum?

Knee tape adjustments

Lately, I have been concentrating on parts of the McConnell taping technique. That the physio showed me that I probably haven’t perfected.  

• After gliding the tape across medially, I make sure I pull the skin up underneath the tape. I notice there is much more skin now on the inside of the knee.
• When appyling the tilt tape, I bring the skin underneath the tape, sort of pulling it back laterally. It’s like untwisting my quads so that there is more skin and muscle on the inside thigh than the outer thigh.
• Then when unlodading the fat pad, I pull the skin up with my fingers, mostly from the lateral side of it. Then I push the knee cap over while pulling up the skin on the outside of the knee.

The only real way to learn how to tape a knee properly is to get a physio to show you.

It is importnat when putting the adhesive backing tape on not to put any tension on it.  

Positive signs.

Much more looseness through the VLAT and ITB attachment.

Yesterday I was almost pain free.

there is less cracking and snapping inside the knee.

I feel as much pain running as I do walking.

I can do standing walk throughs and it appears my VMO is really activated.

It’s happening

My knee is getting better. It’s happening I said on my walk at lunchtime. It’s happening. My twisted quads, my tortured knee cap is going back on track.

Tonight I took a huge gamble. I decided to run the 5.3 km loop. I finished non stop, there was hardly any pain! Less pain than I feel when I walk. I can’t believe it. My knee cap still maltracks and tilts when I don’t have tape on.

Am I believer in McConnell taping you bet I am. It bloody well works.

When I could hardly walk a hundred metres without tpae, I could walk 5km with it. I’ve slowly built up so that I can walk 6.6km once a week without tape, but I proved today I can run 5.3 km with tape and patella strap.

That’s an amazing difference.

 

 

 

Run before you walk

That is what I did today. I ran for about 15-20 minutes. And my knee didn’t hurt.

I was walking really well at the half way mark. A person jogged to go past me, the she stopped about five metres in front and started walking, she was quite slow. I easily caught  up, and then sort of jogged down the hill and overtook. I stepped up up the pace on the flat and my knee felt great.

The lady couldn’t catch up walking so she jogged past for about 200 metres and stopped and started walking. That’s a fun game to play I thought, and my leg was feeling, so great I decided to run. As I went past the competitive lady, I thought of saying to her.

“That’s not running, this is running.”

I ran all the way home, up Orlando and Jarrett Street Hill, probably about 3 km.

Not unlike a flock of seagulls

I ran.

For about 15 minutes.

Feeling annoyed with everything I started to run and ran all the way home.  My knee hurt about as much as I did when I walk. So that was an interesting experiment.

The last few days my quads are becoming untwisted. I can really work the VMO, and there is starting to be more muscle there than the VLAT.

I am wearing a pair of Brooks Addiction shoes. I’ve had these for a couple years but only worn them twice. With the custom made orthotics they seem to help

No you’re talking recovery, Quinkin. Not far now mate.

 

I’m back

This week I like to think that my knee has taken a leap forward. I really can isolate the inner thigh. The knee cap itself is running deeper, but is still a little bit tilted. Last weekend I walked 7km just with the patella tendon strap. It didn’t feel too bad. Trouble is I wake the next day and the darned knee started to tighten up. The trend is for the knee to get stronger, and for walking to become easier.  

I had counselling session on Monday, I think I feel a little bit better about things, and am trying to put a plan of action in place to change the nightmare I am living in. I really think I can pull it off. Sell or rent the unit I am in, take extended leave, get into landscape photography, do some volunteer work.  I feeling positive again for the first time in a long time.